Winter

It's winter. We live in Minnesota and this time of year winter is everywhere. We have lived all over the country and winter here is the real deal. It is cold and there is snow on the ground from sometimes October through (let's be honest) May! Last year we had a foot of snow the first weekend in May! The length is hard but more than the length is the severity of it. Normally January and February have many days below zero. This year our sub zero temps began in December and are hanging on strong! Our high on Monday is forecasted to be -13. Let me put that another way the highest temperature we expect to see Monday is 13 degrees below zero. It will be as low as negative 25 with wind chills 50 (or more) below zero. Most native born or long time Minnesotans have embraced winter and found ways to be outside taking part in leisurely and athletic activities. Ice fishing, snow shoeing, and cross country skiing are the favorites. And in our 6 years here we have certainly adapted as well! We (like other Minnesotans) really see no need for coats once the temperatures reach the mid 20's. And as soon as the 30's roll around in April we are outside like it's the first day of summer! But these sub zero temperatures, the 3 feet of snow, the bare trees, the gray skies, and insane length of winter takes it's toll every year. There hits a point every year where I lose perspective. I start to think that maybe winter is never going to end. I start to forget what green grass and leave look like and what warm fresh air feels like. I complain and grumble. I am impatient and depressed. I miss moments right here and now because I start wishing for some time ahead. Some warm and bright time ahead. For the next season. 

As we continue on in this process of bringing home our next two children I am seeing a bit of a parallel in these two "seasons" of our lives. Minnesota winter and this "winter of waiting" for our babies to be in our arms, for this process to be over. Right now I have no news. When I would update before going on the wait list I felt I had significant steps to report. I had something tangible to cross off a list and share with you are joy in each milestone. Now we are simply waiting. Week after week and month after month we are waiting. We are sure things are happening, process is being made, we are surely getting closer- but we are kept in the dark and don't get to see all that is happening to bring us closer. We simply must wait. That kind of waiting can feel long and I am tempted to lose my perspective just as I do every January in Minnesota. Will this ever end? When? How long must we wait? I am tempted to look only ahead- at what is to come. The day we will get our referral and see their faces, the day we will travel to meet them, the day we will bring them home all loom before us and we long for these times. But maybe in doing that I am missing all that is right here and now. I believe that God gives us each day and that there are a thousand blessing to experience in each day. If I only look forward I miss all that is right here and now. I am also beginning to think that God has a purpose and a plan for each of these seasons- for the waiting and the receiving. For the winter and the spring. 

He says in his word 

"There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven."

Ecclesiastes 3:1

I am looking for perspective now. I am determined to wait faithfully. I am seeking what God wants me to know, how he wants me to grow, and what he wants to show me of himself in this season. Not the next, but the one I am in right now. 

This season is hard and slow. But we are trusting in God's purpose and timing. 

"But I trust in you, O Lord; I say, 'You are my God. My times are in your hands."

Psalm 31:15

We will continue to update as we get new wait list numbers each month. And will update as we do fundraising and as we apply for grants and as we process new truths through each season! 

Please continue to pray:

For the details of the adoption process

For our hearts

For our Ethiopian children, their birth parents, and entire situation

For finances

For the government of Ethiopia and international adoption. 

Thank you! 

And just to bring a smile today: here is a post I wrote on Facebook in April of last year

As I bundle my kids in snow pants, watch them build another snow fort, zip up footie pajamas, and look at the big metal ring that is supposed to hold a trampoline in our yard...I think that I just may have forgotten what summer feels like. Green grass, kids on playgrounds, swimming in pools all feel sort of like a dream I had once, maybe something I heard about a long time ago. So I have lived through 33 summers.... my kids- well they have lived through so few in their short lives that I think the memory may all but be lost. The example that I think might prove this:

Recently I put my kids in shorts to go to an open gym time at the gymnastics center. They immediately began exclaiming (and continued through that day and the days to follow)
"Yes! We get to wear SHORTPANTS!" "I love these SHORTPANTS! Don't you!?" "Can we wear these SHORTPANTS all day?" These SHORTPANTS are so awesome!" I wish we could wear SHORTPANTS everyday!"

Seriously..... ?!

I looked at them and said "Guys! They are called SHORTS!" "Don't you remember wearing SHORTS?!"
Nope.... I really don't think they do.

Shortpants.

January 2014

Each month as families ahead of us receive their referrals we will move along on the wait list, getting closer and closer to number 1! We only moved up 3 spots this month and start the new year at number 70! Please continue to pray for families to be referred and for our move down this list. Pray that there are no set backs or delays. 

Waiting

We are officially on the wait list at number 73!!! We have waited long and worked hard for this day to arrive and it is finally here! So now we breath. Now we wait.

This number essentially means there are 72 other families ahead of us waiting for their referral. Each month our number should change. We will go down the wait list as other families receive their referrals. We will keep you updated each month as we move closer to number one!

What happens when we get to front of the line? We will then receive our referrals. We will be sent the names, pictures, and stories of the two children our adoption agency has matched to our family. Once we officially accept those referrals we will be off of the wait list and moving forward to bring those 2 specific children home!

We are in the Advent season. I have been daily reflecting on the mystery and glory of God coming to earth. Of the fact that he did. Marveling at the powerful way that he came. But mostly praising him for all that is means for me- for us- for this world.

HE CAME.

He promised his people that he would and they WAITED.

They HOPED.

They LONGED for HIS COMING.

And- HE CAME.

I am pausing this December to remember his coming. I am quieting my soul to listening for what he wants me to know about His first coming and what he wants me to know as I wait for his return. We are pausing in a season of waiting and anticipation. How fitting that we should be placed on our agencies wait list now. We wait. We hope. We anticipate these little children coming. As I remember the Child who came.

Abraham and Sarah waited for a child. They waited long for the promise of God to be fulfilled. I imagine their hearts ached and I imagine Sarah lost hope. But "The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise…" (2 Peter 3:9)
He fulfilled his promise with a child. Isaac- meaning "he laughs".  He filled their longings and proved himself faithful. He filled them with joy after the hard of the waiting.

And when Jesus- The Child- came, the earth was filled with this joy- all of our longings were satisfied and God indeed proved himself faithful.

Ann Voskamp puts it this way:

"we who were barren now graced with the Child who lets us laugh with relief for all eternity. There is nothing left to want. There is nothing left to fear."

Because this Child came in the stillness of the night in the little town of Bethlehem I can "laugh with relief for all eternity".

As we wait for our little ones from Ethiopia we remember that "God is not slow in keeping his promise…" We wait in hope and in anticipation. We quiet our hearts and focus on the Child who has made all things new, the Child who brings hope to the world, the Child who came after the wait.

IT. IS. GONE.

Our dossier is GONE! We mailed it two days ago to the "Assistant Stork." This is a courier service that will carry it to the Ethiopian Embassy in D.C. and the Department of State in D.C. to be authenticated. Then this courier will mail the authenticated dossier to our Agency in Michigan. We expect it to be in Michigan within the next 2 weeks. Then we will go on our agencies' wait list. I feel like I can stop and just breathe and rest.

What does the next phase of our adoption journey look like? Well, we will be on the wait list and waiting for our referral. We cannot say with any amount of certainty when we will receive a referral but our hope will be for a referral sometime this coming summer.

In the meantime, we will be reading books on adoption preparing both our hearts and lives for our new little ones. We will be doing a few fund raising projects. We will be continuing in prayer.

Thank you for your prayers and for joining us on this journey! We are grateful!

Nearing the End of this Paperwork Journey!

Hi friends! We have been moving along steadily in the "gathering documents" phase of this adoption journey! What seemed never-ending only a short while ago is actually coming to a close. The end of this paper chase is in sight! We hope to have our Dossier completed and sent off this coming week! Since we last updated we have received our fingerprint appointment from the US government. Then just one week after being fingerprinted we received our approval letter from the US government! We could not move forward with our Dossier for the Ethiopian government without this approval, so the past week has been spent finalizing details in our Dossier. Through our agency we have an online portal that we find a running checklist of each step of the process. As we complete tasks on our end we are able to upload documents for our agency to approve and then each task is virtually checked off on our portal. Over the past week almost all of the 30 tasks for this phase haven been checked off and approved! With each new day and each task complete I feel a weight removed from my shoulders! We have been anticipating this time for months! We are thrilled for it to finally be here! 

This coming week we will head to FED EX to send off our Dossier. We will send it to a special courier called "The Assistant Stork". This courier will deliver our dossier to both the Ethiopian Embassy and the Department of State in Washington D.C. Our dossier will be "authenticated" at both of these places. (honestly I really don't know what this entails) Once "authenticated" the courier will send the completed and authenticated dossier to our Agency in Michigan! Once we have paid the fees owed at this time we will go on our agencies wait list! 

Going onto the wait list will begin the next phase of this journey for us- the WAIT. 

What are we waiting for? We are waiting for a referral. There are many other families on our agencies wait list. As families are referred children we move closer to number 1 on the list. Our agency knows our guidelines for the children we are adopting and they know the children who are in need of families and connected to the orphanages our agency works with in Ethiopia. When we get to the top of  the wait list they will match two children with our family. When they feel they have identified the children just right for our family they will send us the "referral." We will then know their names, see their faces (via email) and know their stories. This is what we will be WAITING for starting next week! 

Thank you all for joining us on this journey! Please continue to pray for us! Pray our documents are in order and delivered quickly and without incident. Please pray for provision for the coming financial needs. We have a very large payment due before we can go on the wait list. Please pray for our children- both here and in Ethiopia. Please pray that God would continue to show us more of himself through this process and that others who are following this journey would see him as well! 

We read this book for a second time as we waited for approval letters. It proved to be as challenging and inspiring the second time as it was the first! If you have not read this- I highly recommend! 

Mailing documents to the U.S. government! 

Seeking his face each day. Drawing close to him and relying on his strength. And on a side note- beginning a coffee habit. :-)

Receiving letters from the U.S. government! 

Getting state seals on documents

The result of 6 months work- gathering and detailing these documents! 

Defend the Cause of the Weak and Fatherless

We are hoping to have some exciting news regarding our adoption process later this week! We hope to be moving forward (finally) in some of our paperwork steps! Check back soon and we will share as soon as we can!

While we wait I wanted to share with you a bit of what I am processing in this season of my life. I am re-reading the book "The Hole in our Gospel" by Richard Stearns. If you have not read this book- please get a copy today and read it. As I read it a second time I am more convinced and convicted regarding our call as believers to live more radical, compassionate, and justice focused lives. 

The book this week references Ezekiel 16:49:

"Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed, and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy."

Most of you reading this have some ideas that come to mind when we hear of the ancient cities of Sodom and Gomorrah. It has been taught in churches and referenced in culture. Most of us think of grievous sexual sin, and while that is true, read again what God says is the sin of that wicked nation. They were arrogant, overfed, and unconcerned. They did not help the poor and needy. A city known for it's wickedness and the destruction that came as a result is a city that is arrogant, overfed, and unconcerned, and they did not care for the poor or needy. 

As I read these words thousands of years later I am haunted by the truth they speak of the very country I call my own. But more than speak to this country, I tremble at how truthfully they speak of the Church in America. Us. We- who call ourselves followers of Jesus. Me. 

The "Hole in the Gospel" argues that the Church in America has reduced the Gospel- the Good News of Jesus Christ- to a sort of "fire insurance". We have taken this message with words only. We have taken it to people with eternity only in mind while ignoring (or at least disregarding) their current state of suffering and despair. We have failed to live the "Whole" Gospel as Jesus did. Proclaiming a truth that has the power to redeem this entire world order. This "Whole Gospel" has always been meant to save people for eternity and redeem their circumstances right here and now. Jesus' life on earth demonstrates this with every healing, with every move of justice, and with the compassion he demonstrated for hurting people. 

I believe the church has (along with reducing the Gospel to "fire insurance") become complacent and has increasingly believed the lies of this world and subtly and slowly started to blur the lines between people of faith and the world surrounding us. We have been numbed to the pain of the world and told lies concerning our responsibility in it. Generations have been brought up believing the lies of the American Dream. And generations of church-going people have been told that this is also for them. Generations of church-going people have been taught politics and religion as if they are one in the same, as if America and it's values and concerns are and should be the primary concerns of the people of God. 

"The first Reformation..... was about creeds; this one's going to be about deeds."

~ Rick Warren

As I read this book for the second time I am more convinced that God is calling his people to repentance and action. The words of the prophet Ezekiel should cut to our hearts. Arrogant. Overfed. Unconcerned. 

Arrogant.

Overfed.

Unconcerned.

Church- we need to repent. We need to ask God to show us our arrogance, our indulgence, and our lack of concern. We need to ask for mercy and forgiveness and we need to ask him to begin to break our hearts with the things that break his. 

I am no longer content to go about life acting as if the world isn't hurting. As if I can't do something. As if my petty discomforts take precedent over the lost, hurting, and dying in this world. What Jesus calls us to is radical. Following him means sacrifice, compassion, justice, and surrender. 

I have recently been led to learn more about a country in Africa called the Democratic Republic of the Congo. It is a dark and horribly violent country. People are being killed, raped, and tortured by a number of rebel groups from within their own country and from surrounding countries. 6 million people have been violently slaughtered since 1996. Countless more women and children raped and abused. The US government has known and effectively done nothing. The UN has known and done nothing. The world knows now and is doing nothing. I watched a 26 minute video yesterday detailing the DRC's situation. It was very difficult to watch. I wanted to turn it off continuously through the 26 minutes. I wanted to walk away and pretend I had never seen it. But then I remembered that real people are living this horror right now. Real parents watch (or have watched) their children murdered in front of them. Real children have watched their mothers raped in front of them. Real families live in fear of this right now. I had to sit in air conditioned safe home and watch 26 minutes of the lives of other people- real people. 

And I was broken. It was far from comfortable. But I had asked God to begin to break my heart with the things that break his. I had asked him to break my complacency. And he is doing that.

Because I believe that God is compassionate, he is just,  and he loves deeply every soul suffering in the hell of the DRC. I believe in the room lined with orphan babies- silent because they have learned in the first months of their life that crying gains nothing- he is there.  His heart aches. I believe he sees the injustice and hears the cries of his people. And I also believe he has purposed and called his people to be his hands and feet. He has called us to:

"Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed. Rescue the weak and the needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked."

Psalm 82:3,4

As the 26 minutes came to a close I felt overwhelmed. What could I possibly do in the face of such widespread violence in a country across the world? I am still (and will continue) to seek answers to that question. I do believe that each of us can do something. 

The DRC is one example of suffering and pain in this world. One place where the Gospel of hope can bring life and power and can turn upside down the current order of things. But the world is full of this need. It is full of pain, suffering, and injustice. 

I believe that the church in America (with all of it's resources and influence) can be and must be a part of God redeeming work in this world. I believe God is calling the church to a reformation. But this reformation must begin with individual followers of Jesus.

Each of us must ask God to "break our hearts with the things that break his."

And then ask him "What are you calling me to?"

Here is the video I watched yesterday. This video is not for children as it describes extreme violence and shows the devastating effects of it. 

Will you pray for miracles?

Hi friends. We are getting closer. Our paperwork is slowly and I mean s.l.o.w.l.y. coming to the end. We are waiting for our final homestudy draft. Our social worker has emailed twice this week with 2 different drafts. She told us yesterday that she hopes for the final one to be complete today! (for those of you where this is just a bunch of adoption lingo all blurring together- the written home study is a 18-20 page report on our family after the visits our social had with us and reviewing a bunch of paperwork we turned in) If it is completed today she will email a copy to our Adoption Agency in Michigan. They will review it and if satisfactory they give our social worker (here in Minnesota) the green light to mail us a notarized official copy!

As soon as that is in our hands we mail out our USCIS packet to the U.S. Government!

Would you pray today?

Would you pray for speed.

Pray that we would not need any revisions.

Pray for our social worker here in Minnesota and our agency in Michigan.

Pray for us that we can have all documented paperwork correct and ready for the second our home study is in our hands.

Today I will be putting together all of the paperwork I have had ready for months. I will be calling our agency to make sure everything is as it should be with what I have done. I will be getting a mailer and addressing it to the government office where it will be sent.

Sophie asks me pretty regularly if I am praying for a miracle. I guess I do pray for miracles pretty regularly. Today I ask you all to keep praying for miracles in this adoption process.

I have prayed from the beginning of this whole process that we would be done with our paperwork by the end of September.

I am still praying this.

But it would be a miracle.

Thankfully I know the God of all Creation - who daily works miracles. Every step of this process as been nothing short of miraculous.

After the USCIS paperwork goes out (praying by early next week!) then we will have 2 of our 3 main steps in our paperchase done!

After we get our approval from the U.S. government we can send off our Ethiopian Dossier!

Then we can breathe.

Then we can wait.

Thank you friends for joining us on this journey. Thank you for praying us through this and for coming alongside of us in so many ways.

We are grateful.

As I type this Levi is talking to Dan about "when his babies come home".....

my heart is full of anticipation.